Unique Concepts Found in Emotional Black Holes
Emotional Black Holes
We all have a spark of divinity inside us, so we each have an innate basic need to love and to be loved, but because we are born into an imperfect world, we all have been disappointed by those we relied on for love. This creates an emotional vacuum that sucks us down. Much of our life effort, and most of our destructive behavior, results from our subconscious quest to fill this emotional vacuum. Some individuals try to escape the emptiness that haunts them through drugs and alcohol while others go to an extreme in stuffing their life with so called “good” things. However, the only thing that can actually fill our emotional black holes created by a lack of love is God, whose essence is love. Consequently, we need to turn to His spark of divinity inside us, nurture it, and respond to its promptings.
Three Innate Fears
We act like robots. When someone pushes our buttons, we react. Most of our unhealthy behavior results from our emotional fears. Our lack of love while growing up creates three basic fears: 1) the fear of rejection and abandonment or in other words a fear of losing love; 2) the fear of not being valued or appreciated, and 3) a fear of not being in control. God, whose essence is love, is the only source to fully extinguish these fears and set us free so that we can become our true selves to love others more deeply and enjoy life.
A black hole’s gravitational pull distorts time and space as objects approach its event horizon. Similarly, our emotional black holes distort our perception of reality creating delusions regarding our personal identity and our emotional needs. The stronger the pull our emotional black holes have on us, the greater are our delusions. The primary delusion affects our sense of self. We develop a superiority or inferiority complex. Our delusional self-image creates a warped sense of entitlement and a need for validation. These delusions contribute to the creation of our three innate fears of abandonment, loss of esteem and lack of control. These delusions and subconscious fears contribute to our dysfunctional behavior that hinders our ability to enjoy loving relationships and a peaceful, happy life.
Whenever someone does something that annoys us, instead of focusing on how wrong the other person is, a much more productive approach is to look inside our self to figure out why it bothers us so much. If we are honest with our self, we will usually recognize that the reason someone else’s rough edge irritates us is because we have a rough edge of our own. Consequently, as we learn to identify why something bothers us and then let it go, life’s hard knocks will chip away our imperfections and we will find that not only are we less irritated by other people, we will be less irritating to others as well.
Our Imperfect World is God’s Perfect Plan
This imperfect world is not due to some big mistake, but is integral to God’s plan to convert us to become more like Him, so that we can experience ultimate joy. In order to become a loving creature like God, we need to seek God’s love with enough intensity that it will fuse with our soul and become part of our being. But before we look for something it must be lost. Consequently, the very void in our life created by being raised in an imperfect world creates the quest to find God. Interestingly, what we feel are stumbling blocks may actually be stepping stones to reach heaven’s gate, and individuals with crying emotional needs may actually have an advantage in achieving our eternal destiny.
When you feel life is not fair and that a loving God is a myth, consider the possibility that you existed as a pre-mortal spirit child of God before you were born and agreed to come to this imperfect world to experience these challenges as part of a plan for your eternal development to become like God. In return, Christ promised to bear all of our pain and sorrow if we would accept Him as our savior. Accordingly, Christ can turn negative experiences into positive uplifting ones.
Christ’s Grace Heals both the Sinner and his Victim
Christ bought our soul by bearing all of our grief in the Garden of Gethsemane and dying on the cross. The pain He suffered was not just his own, but included the weight of all of the suffering in the world from the creation of mankind until the end of time. The sorrow we inflict on others is covered as is the hurt we receive from someone else. The Lord’s infinite atonement is one eternal round, bringing comfort to the victim of sin, while offering freedom from guilt to the sinner, and healing them both in the process. We all are both victims of sin and sinners, and his grace heals us in every capacity.
Christ is All Powerful Because He is all Good and Merciful.
The essence of God’s spirit is love, light, truth and goodness. This essence is in all things, quickens all things, is the force that governs all things, gives life to living things, and is the light or intelligence of man. When Christ bore the weight of all of the hurt and wrong throughout the history of the world, he had a choice to make. He could escape this excruciating pain caused by our sins and his agonizing death on the cross, but instead he stayed true to his essence of love and chose to remain unified with love and compassion while suffering incomprehensible anguish caused by all of us, the very individuals He had compassion for while suffering through this ordeal. His continued unity with the essence of God (love, truth & goodness) while suffering all our pain, glorifies God because all things have a portion of this essence in them. Christ is all powerful because he is all loving and good.
Discover the power of God that surrounds you.
Everything, including you, contains a portion of the essence of God. So, as we look for beauty and goodness in the world, we will connect with the power of God that is within us. As we pause to enjoy the beauty of a sunset, the majesty of mountains, and the elegance of a butterfly, we awaken the divinity within us that inspires us to move forward. As we look for the decency, kindness, and integrity of the individuals we interact with, we feel more connected with humanity and desire to become a better person. The key is to look for it. Seek and ye shall find God all around you, lifting you up to experience a fuller, happier life.
We are all mixed bags and fall short in some respect. Consequently, we are all dependent on the goodwill and grace of God and others. Without grace we have no hope, and without hope we have no joy. None of us deserve grace. The vilest sinner in the depth of despair has as much right to grace as the holiest saint, and they each desperately need it. God offers His grace to us because He loves us, not because of our worthiness. However, we must be willing to surrender to God and turn our whole heart over to Him in order to fully accept His gift of grace. If we love anything more than God, we will not have room in our heart to receive all of His love.
The great test of our acceptance of God’s grace is our willingness to allow Him to empower us to extend grace to those who offend us and forgive them, just as Christ forgives us. We often do not have the power within us to forgive. Consequently, we need to have a broken heart that is open so that God can fill it with His love for this individual who hurt us. God then empowers us to forgive, and in the process, God draws us closer to Him in a more intimate way than through practically any other means.
The purpose of our existence is to develop our divine capacity to love, which is the essence of God. As we do this, we become more united with the Divine to experience greater peace, joy and love. We develop our capacity to love through sacrifice and forgiveness. As we sacrifice to serve others, we invest part of ourself in the other individuals creating a bridge for love to flow, edifying all through the process.